Being the light: rethinking expectations for our kids
As Christian parents, it’s easy to assume our children will automatically shine the light of Christ wherever they go. After all, they believe in Jesus. Doesn’t that mean they’ll be the “good one” in the group—the one who influences others toward Him?
But is that a fair expectation?
What Jesus’ life teaches us about preparation
When we look at Jesus’ life, there’s an important detail we can’t overlook: He didn’t begin His ministry until age 30. For three decades, He lived in the loving structure of His family. He worked alongside His earthly father as a carpenter, grew in wisdom through His religious education, and built a foundation of love, faith, and connection.
It wasn’t until after those years of preparation that He stepped into His public ministry—teaching, healing, and reaching the lost.
This should make us pause. If Jesus, the Son of God, spent 30 years being formed before entering the world in His calling, why do we expect our seven-year-old to walk into soccer practice and instantly be the light in every situation?
Why our expectations matter
Of course, our children can and do reflect Christ. But expecting them to resist every worldly influence or lead every peer group simply because they love Jesus places a weight on their shoulders they may not be ready to carry.
Strong personalities, group dynamics, and unfamiliar environments can all shape their choices. Even the most faith-filled child can struggle when put in situations they haven’t been prepared for.
Instead of sending them out with the pressure to perform spiritually, we can focus on building their foundation. That means teaching them how to:
build healthy relationships
handle conflict in a godly way
strengthen their emotional and spiritual lives
practice what it looks like to shine their light within the safety of home and family
Guiding instead of pushing
Our role as parents is to guide and walk with our children, not push them into situations they may not be equipped to navigate. Jesus Himself modeled this patient preparation. His family and community helped form Him for His kingdom assignment—and we are called to do the same for our kids.
So before expecting your child to stand out as “the light” in the world, ask: What is their kingdom assignment right now? At their age, what is reasonable for me to expect?
This week’s reflection
Take some time to inventory your expectations. Are you asking your kids to be more than they are ready to be? How can you adjust your parenting to give them the tools, practice, and connection they need before sending them into challenging situations?
And above all, choose connection before correction. Love on your kids this week, guide them gently, and trust that God is shaping them for their future assignment in His time.
