Be the calm: How parenting like God teaches our kids to regulate

There’s a growing conversation in parenting circles about co-regulation—the idea that kids can’t self-regulate on their own and need us to help them learn how. It’s everywhere in gentle parenting, and while I love that the world is catching on, the truth is… this isn’t new.

As Christian parents, we’ve seen this modeled by God all along.

Our children learn how to handle their big feelings by watching us handle ours. And let’s be honest—we don’t always get it right. We lose it sometimes. But the goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence.

What the world is now calling co-regulation, God has demonstrated from the very beginning. He stays steady when we spiral. He doesn’t shift based on our behavior. He remains calm, gentle, and full of peace—because that’s who He is.

When we’re overwhelmed, panicked, or falling apart, His presence calms us. Why? Because Jesus is peace. The Holy Spirit is gentleness. God doesn’t react in chaos—He meets us in it and anchors us with His unchanging nature.

And that’s exactly what our kids need from us.

They don’t learn regulation from our words—they learn it from our presence. When we choose to stay calm in their storms, we give them something to hold on to. Over time, and with practice, they learn what peace feels like in chaos—and how to return to it.

This is what parenting like God looks like:

• Staying calm even when emotions run high.

• Staying close when their behavior pushes away.

• Being peace so they learn peace.

The world might call it science. But we know—it’s Scripture. It’s God’s way.

So next time the tantrum hits, take a breath. Remember who your Father is. And parent from His peace.

Because when you bring calm, you teach calm. And that changes everything.