Healing, Forgiveness, and the Power of Honor

In today’s world, we are seeing more vulnerability and openness than ever before. People are willing to talk about the dysfunction in their families, the pain they’ve endured, and the wounds left by those closest to them—often, their parents. This honesty is beautiful and necessary. It helps us begin the journey toward healing.

Inner healing—especially when invited in with the presence of the Lord—is one of the most powerful ways to find breakthrough. Many people are discovering the freedom that comes from letting God into their pain and letting Him guide them through restoration.

But there’s something that must follow healing. There’s a step that’s often overlooked as we begin to voice our pain: honor.

We’ve learned how to call out our parents, how to articulate the ways they hurt us—whether intentionally or not. And while naming those wounds is a crucial step in healing, we can’t stop there. We need to move toward honor.

Now let’s be clear: Honor is not agreement. You can honor your parents without agreeing with what they did or how they handled things. Honor means seeing them through the eyes of Jesus, recognizing them as God’s creation, and treating them with the dignity that comes from that identity. It's a heart posture more than a behavioral checklist.

The Bible commands us to honor our father and mother. It's the fourth commandment—and notably, the only one with a promise attached: “that it may go well with you, and you may live long in the land.” Even under the new covenant, this principle carries wisdom and blessing.

Forgiveness is the bridge that leads to honor. It’s not about condoning the harm or pretending the pain didn't exist. Forgiveness is releasing someone from the debt they owe you and placing them in God’s hands. Once you’ve forgiven, you create space in your heart to honor them.

And if you haven’t yet reached the point where you can honor them, it's likely that healing still needs to take place.

This isn't just about your own freedom—it’s about what you’re modeling for your children. One day, your kids will need to process the ways you, despite your best intentions, missed the mark. They’ll need to forgive you and learn to honor you too. How you handle your relationship with your parents now lays the foundation for how they’ll handle theirs with you later.

So, what can you do?

• Pursue inner healing where it’s needed.

• Forgive your parents—not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to live free.

• Honor them, even without agreement.

• Model the process to your children. Show them what it looks like to walk through hurt, find healing, forgive, and honor.

This is how generational cycles are broken. This is how freedom flows down a family line.

Let’s raise children who know how to live free.